The menopausal puzzle pegs
I collect old toys. I can shake a celluloid baby rattle, build towers with blocks from the 1940s, and ring up pretend purchases on a green metal cash register.
Dolls and teddy bears keep me company.
A few years ago, one of those toys, a game named “Puzzle-Peg,” became a symbol of menopause. To me, menopause was a puzzle of puzzles.
Night sweats, crazy monthly periods, and mood swings popped in and out of my life. Could this be menopause?
The sweats at night came first. My husband Cliff was sure I was merely using too many blankets. Read the story here.
Then came weirdness with my period. I suffered through skipped periods, heavy ones, and periods that lasted for days.
I’ve always loved sweets and salty things, but my cravings soared. I moved from experiencing the munchies a few days each month to constantly wanting to eat. My mom sent me a Christmas goody basket from a fancy gourmet store, and it was gone before my family even tasted a chocolate covered almond. Yikes!
Some days, I just felt weird, weird, weird.
“Is this menopause?” I asked myself over and over. I’d go onto one of the menopausal sites online, and yep, I’d find that symptom.
One day, tiny bugs crawled up my arm. Not real bugs; they just felt like bugs. I even found this symptom on one of the sites: a tingling feeling on arms or legs. Another peg in the menopausal puzzle!
The menopausal symptom that threw me for the biggest loop, took me the longest to figure out. I spent two wonderful years studying for an MFA in Writing at Vermont College of Fine Arts. I wrote a novel, poetry, essays, and picture books. Then, as soon as the degree was finished, I decided I couldn’t write. Intense self-doubt overtook me.
A year later, I began writing again (and I haven’t stopped!) Only then did I realize that that sad period of self-doubt was, indeed, another symptom of menopause.
For me, menopause was a matter of putting the pegs together. Happily, that mysterious time in my life led me to something I love: blogging.
I’m now a menopause blogger. I write Friend for the Ride: Encouraging Words for the Menopause Roller Coaster. I blog about menopause and other topics related to midlife and aging. Connecting with other bloggers, like Eileen, has been an added joy.
Together, we’re helping other women figure out the pegs of the menopausal puzzle!
Barbara’s teddy bears are always ready for a cup of tea, even though they live in America.
Puzzle-Peg is a version of peg solitaire, a game historians say dates back to the 17th century.
