Perimenopause and your sex life
Okay, let’s talk about sex — and the effect perimenopause can have on it. I don’t think people talk about this enough, do you?
There are so many issues to unpack. So many perimenopausal changes that can affect your sex life: anxiety or low mood, body changes, low libido, vaginal dryness, painful breasts — the list goes on. And that’s before we even get into the mental and emotional impact perimenopause can have on relationships. The fatigue alone can greatly impact it!
Did you know that oxytocin — the “love hormone” — drops during perimenopause? And when it falls, it can mess with your mood, your sleep, your libido… even trigger feelings of anger or disconnect.
Honestly, I have friends who say they want to kill their husbands just for breathing or chewing. And the husbands haven’t changed — it’s the off-kilter oxytocin and the hormonal perception shifts that make things feel different.
Then there’s the inner criticism. So many women turn that frustration inward. We feel awful, overwhelmed, and unattractive — especially if we’ve gained weight or feel bloated.
And let’s be real: the world doesn’t make it easier. It’s so judgmental and image-obsessed, especially around ageing.
That’s why I think it’s more important than ever to nurture self-esteem, confidence, and a sense of self-worth. If you feel good, you’re more likely to feel attractive — and connected.
So do what you can to reduce the stress you’re carrying. Give yourself a little time and attention.
I love goals — having something to focus on. I’m big on self-improvement and self-enrichment.
I threw out a bunch of tatty old knickers recently and honestly, I felt amazing.
And if your emotional life, your sex life, or your relationship is being affected by perimenopause — please, talk it out with your partner.
Just because you don’t feel sexy today doesn’t mean your meaningful, satisfying sex life is over.
A hug and a kiss can be a good start.
And for vaginal dryness? There are natural supports too — like Sea Buckthorn oil, which can help with dryness all over during perimenopause and menopause. Natural water-based lubricants too can help.
Other topics that you may find helpful:
The surprising hormone that can impact your relationships & emotions during menopause
