Commuting

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Dave glanced at his watch. He had no need for he could see the station clock clearly enough through the mucky carriage window, but it gave him something to focus on. Only two minutes to go and Mike’s seat was empty. It wasn’t like him.

Every day without fail Mike would join Dave, Roderick and Emby on the 5.38. Dave had been getting this train for the last five years. Mike, he knew, had been a commuter for fifteen.

“He’s late,” he said to Roderick, sitting opposite. Roderick shrugged and returned to his book. Strange, he’d never noticed Roderick reading on the train. He usually led the conversation. Emby on Roderick’s right was invisible behind the Telegraph.

Dave sighed, was he the only one that was worried? And yet worried wasn’t right, it was just a vague uneasiness. A sense that something was wrong.

Five thirty-eight and the doors hissed shut.

“Well that’s it,” he announced as the train gathered speed. “He’s missed it.”

Roderick pursed his lips but otherwise there was no response. Rain splattered the window as they clattered from the station. This was going to be a fun forty minutes with two mute companions.

The train picked up speed, surging past the derelict wasteland of the station sidings. Raindrops cleared greasy trails on the grey windows but there was nothing to look at. After years of travel he knew every track, siding, signal and blackened wall of this godforsaken line. How much worse was it for Mike? He had never known Mike to miss this train. You could check your watch by him. Always 5.34. It wasn’t right. He was seized by anxiety once more, not anxiety for Mike, something else, something picking at the edge of consciousness.

He glanced at his friends again. Nothing, they were quite unconcerned.

Mike had been his usual self that morning on the 7.40, laughing, joking, perhaps a bit more than usual but so what?

“Know what, Dave,” he had said, with a conspiratorial wink. “It’s my birthday tomorrow.” It hadn’t seemed strange at the time but now his imagination set to work. The four of them were friends, “trainmates,” Mike’s wife called them. They passed the time on the train, went out at Christmas and for boozy lunches. Sometimes wives were invited, but lately he had found these occasions stressful, you never knew what Beth would say. She was speaking her mind these days. Getting to be a pain. What was the point in her getting a job? He made enough to keep them both. How was he supposed to cope?

“Hey Rod,” he called. “What do you thinks wrong with him?”

Roderick reluctantly put his book down and stared in Dave’s direction, not quite meeting his eyes. “With who?” he said.

“With Mike of course,” Dave snapped not trying to keep the irritation from his voice. “He’s not here, or hadn’t you noticed?”

Roderick stared at the empty seat, nodding his head slowly as if he had just appreciated its significance.

“Perhaps they’ve gone out for a meal, with his wife I mean. You know, for his birthday.”

“Never. He never goes out with her, not since I’ve known him.”

“Well, perhaps he’s changed.”

“Changed? Mike? Don’t make me laugh.” But Dave’s concern was increasing. Something had changed. Mike wasn’t here. Mike and Cecile going out for a meal was as likely as.. as Beth cooking a decent meal. It was always the same old crap when he got home, mince, sausages, steak pie, she’d tried a spicy Indian thing once. Took the roof right off his mouth. He’d soon told her what he thought of that. She might at least make an effort instead of telling everyone how unadventurous he was. It wasn’t true. He just liked to know what he was eating.

Roderick had returned to his book. “Hi Emby, what do you think?” he said to the back page of the Telegraph. There was no response. He flicked his finger at the paper making a loud crack. Emby lowered the paper. He looked... sick.

“Sorry Dave, what did you say?” He wiped a bead of perspiration from his forehead.

Dave stared at Emby’s trembling hand.

“I’ve just been wondering about Mike. You work with him, did you notice anything?”

Emby squirmed in his seat, looking towards Roderick, who was reading the back cover off his book intently.

“No not really. We’re only in the same building. You know that, don’t really see each other at all.” He coughed and reddened slightly.

Dave looked from one to the other. The atmosphere was all wrong. There was something they weren’t telling him. But why? They all knew each other.

“Look Dave, I need to pay a call.” Emby was on his feet. His newspaper fell in a crumpled heap. He lurched towards the toilet at the back of the coach.

What’s up with  him?” he turned to Roderick, trying to sound casual but a feeling of dread was creeping over him.

Roderick rubbed his lips with the back of his hand. “Don’t know really, Dave. He’s acting strange.”

Not the only one Dave thought. He took his mobile from his pocket. “I’m going to phone Mike’s wife. There’s something wrong. She should know he’s not on the train.”

Roderick almost jumped out of his seat. “No! No I wouldn’t do that Dave. It’s... you’ll just be worrying her. I wouldn’t worry her... really. I’m sure Mike’s OK. He’s just sick or something.”

“Exactly, that’s why she needs to know. Don’t worry. Soul of discretion. You know me.” He searched for the number.

Roderick waved his hands in front of him but slumped back, silent, into his seat as Dave put the phone to his ear.

The call was answered almost immediately.

“Mike?”

“Hi Cecile, no it’s me, Dave. How’s things.”

There was silence for a moment. “Dave, I don’t believe it.” Her voice was high pitched, almost hysterical. “Why are you calling. You of all people. This is so stupid.”

Dave looked at the phone blankly. “It’s... err... just Mike’s not on the train. We were wondering...”

“You expected him on the train? With you for God’s sake? You’re mad.” She was laughing now. “You don’t know. You really don’t do you?”

“Know what?” he asked cautiously.

“He’s left me. Swanned off. Left a note this morning.”

“I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry for me. Just don’t phone again. I don’t want to speak to you. I’ve got my own life. Stuff you all.” She was sobbing. The connection went dead.

He pocketed the phone slowly. Roderick was staring at him.

“He’s left her. Mike. I don’t understand. You knew didn’t you. You both knew.”

He had never seen Roderick look so uncomfortable.

“Well we did sort off.”

“Sort off? Come on.”

“Well yes we had heard. On the grapevine, like.”

“Mike and Cecile. I don’t understand it. They were such... a couple.” He tried to think of the times he’d seen them together. Not often of course. Mike liked his freedom. He was always doing her down with his snide asides but that was his way. It was just Mike, supercritical. He was like that with everyone. She was probably a bitch at home. “It’s a shock really.”

“Is it?” said Roderick suddenly animated. “Is it really? Just think of what he used to say about her. Personal things. Hurting things. I never liked it when he went on about her like that. A man shouldn’t speak like that about his wife whatever he thinks. What did he say to her when we weren’t there?”

“He was just joking. He didn’t mean it. It’s just like me and Beth. Just joking.”

Roderick turned his book over and over in his hand. He said nothing. Dave felt irritated that he’d mentioned Beth. She had nothing to do with this. At least she knew where she stood. She knew who the breadwinner was even if she was getting ideas these days. There’d better be something decent tonight. They’d have to have a talk.

“Emby’s a long  time. Dave squinted towards the back of the carriage. The engaged sign wasn’t lit. Strange, perhaps he’d met someone.

He made up his mind. “I’m going to phone Beth, see if she’s heard about this.”

“No Dave. For God’s sake...” Roderick was on his feet. The violence of his reaction stunned Dave for a moment. What was this?

“Look I’m just going to phone my wife. Is there a problem?”

“A problem!” Roderick shouted. The carriage went suddenly quiet. Eyes flickered towards them. Roderick sat down. “Look you don’t want to worry her with Mike’s troubles. You’ll be home soon. What’s the point?”

“I don’t understand you Roderick. I really don’t.” He pulled out his mobile and dialled home. The train slowed as it pulled into a station. Just ten minutes to go. He caught a despairing look from Roderick, or was it pity? He turned his face to the window waiting for an answer. Why didn’t she answer? She wouldn’t be further away than the kitchen. She wouldn’t dare. His free hand beat a tattoo on his knee. There were a lot of people getting off here. And then he saw Roderick striding past the window, looking at his shoes. He had to glance at the seat opposite for confirmation. But why was Roderick getting off a station too early? The phone rang and rang. Where was she? She was always home at this time. Always. He shivered in spite of the heat in the carriage as icy fingers stroked the back of his neck.