How anxiety affected my perimenopause journey
Looking back, anxiety and a reduced ability to cope with stress had quite an impact on my perimenopause transition. Initially, though, I didn't associate these changes with hormonal fluctuations. Like many people, I thought it was simply the stress of a busy life or part of getting older.
Because I'd never considered myself a worrier, when I started feeling really under pressure at work and at home, I genuinely believed external factors were entirely to blame. I was in denial, really, and had a long list of perfectly plausible reasons for why I was feeling the way I did.
My husband wasn't pulling his weight. The kids were being exhausting. Work was more demanding than usual.
Looking back, I can see that hormonal changes were playing a part, too. Learning that my anxious thoughts and feelings could be linked to hormonal fluctuations was actually reassuring. [1] It helped me make sense of what I was experiencing.
In many ways, the early stage of perimenopause, when I was wondering what on earth was going on, was the hardest. Not understanding where the anxiety was coming from made it much more difficult to deal with.
The early stages: feeling stressed, tired and overwhelmed
If I had to simplify how I felt at the beginning, I'd say I was very stressed, tired and easily overwhelmed.
I was also worrying about my health. I could feel that something was different, but I didn't know what was happening or what was wrong. I'm the sort of person who would much rather hear bad news than be kept in the dark, so not understanding what was going on was particularly difficult for me.
My number one strategy for managing anxiety during perimenopause became finding out as much as I possibly could about perimenopause and menopause.
For me, knowledge was reassuring. Understanding more about what was happening helped me make sense of my experiences, rather than feeling that something was wrong with me and not knowing why.
The later stages: feeling flat, tired and unmotivated
Later, when my periods started becoming irregular, I knew I was in perimenopause. By this stage, poor sleep had become something that really affected me.
I was experiencing a lot of brain fog, and that brought its own stresses. But the anxiety felt different from the earlier stages.
Initially, I had felt quite wired, stressed and on edge. Later, it was more of a flat, tired and low feeling.
I had to work much harder to motivate myself and get organised. Even everyday tasks could take more effort than they used to, and that was tiring in itself.
It was a different experience of anxiety, and one that affected how I felt and functioned day to day.
Hot flushes, palpitations and the fight-or-flight response
When hot flushes arrived, they brought another dimension to the experience. They could often come along with palpitations and leave me feeling flustered.
I also noticed how strongly my body could react in stressful situations. Even something relatively minor, such as having to park the car in an awkward spot, could trigger a response that felt completely out of proportion to what was happening.
Suddenly, my body would go into fight-or-flight mode, as though I were dealing with a much bigger threat. The physical impact could be quite significant.
It was frustrating because, in those moments, no amount of reasoning with myself or trying to think positively seemed to help.
Sometimes, you simply have to ride it out. I found that trying to get somewhere quiet, taking a few deep breaths and giving myself time to recover helped me regain my composure and get going again.
How I try to manage anxious feelings now
One thing I try to do is categorise the things that are making me anxious.
If it's something relatively minor, I try to step back and ask myself: What am I getting so wound up about?
If it's a logical concern, I can look at what I can do to address it. And if it's something completely outside my control, I try not to become too emotionally caught up in it.
It's not always easy, of course, particularly when anxiety feels physical and overwhelming. But taking a moment to consider what is behind the feeling can help me work out how best to respond.
Perhaps this is part of learning to understand myself better and recognising that I don't have to react to everything in the same way.
Am I entering my wise woman phase of menopause?
Looking back, understanding how my anxiety changed throughout perimenopause has helped me make sense of an experience that initially felt confusing and unsettling.
What began as stress, tiredness and feeling overwhelmed gradually became something I could recognise in the context of hormonal changes, poor sleep and the other symptoms I was experiencing.
Learning more about perimenopause has been an important part of that journey, as has finding ways to pause, take a breath and work out what I can and can't control.
But everyone's experience is different, and anxiety won't look or feel the same for everyone going through perimenopause.
Has your anxiety changed throughout perimenopause? Was your experience similar to mine, or have you experienced something completely different? We'd love to hear your story in the comments.
When to seek support
This article shares one person's experience of anxiety during perimenopause. Everyone's experience is different, and anxiety can have a number of causes. If you're struggling with anxiety that feels overwhelming, persists or affects your daily life, speak to your GP. They can help you explore possible causes and discuss the support available.
Sources:
[1] https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/menopause-and-perimenopause/symptoms/
Other articles that you may find helpful:
Perimenopause Energy: How to Boost Energy Without Caffeine
Perimenopause & Stress: Why You Feel Stuck in Fight or Flight
