Emotional flatness is real (and it’s not “all in your head”)
Feeling emotionally flat is very real. It’s not something you’re imagining, and it’s certainly not a personal failing. Many women notice a dulling of emotions during menopause. Nothing in your life may have changed, yet you just don’t feel the same about anything anymore.
You’re not broken. It’s not laziness. It’s simply the impact of hormonal changes taking their toll on both your body and your mind.
What does emotional flatness feel like?
This emotional shift can show up in different ways:
- Loss of enjoyment — things you once loved no longer bring any pleasure
- Emotional numbness — feeling completely flat or emotionally numb
- Disconnection from others — struggling to understand why others feel happy about things you can’t relate to
- Disconnection from yourself — not recognising who you are anymore
- Low motivation and concentration — starting things but giving up halfway through
- Low mood and anxiety — feeling low and more anxious than before.
So why is this happening?
The role of hormones in emotional wellbeing
Hormones play a huge part. As oestrogen and progesterone levels begin to drop during perimenopause and menopause, this can significantly affect how we feel.
Oestrogen, in particular, helps regulate serotonin and dopamine — the brain chemicals responsible for mood, motivation and emotional resilience. When these hormone levels fall, emotions can feel muted or dulled.
We also have oxytocin, often called the “connection” or “love” hormone. It helps us bond with others and feel positive emotions towards them. When oxytocin levels drop (which can happen when oestrogen start to decline), you may notice you don’t feel like socialising, going out with friends, or even connecting emotionally with your partner or close family.
Sleep, burnout and midlife pressure
Sleep disturbances are another big factor. Poor sleep is incredibly common during perimenopause and menopause, and even one bad night can drain your emotional reserves. When poor sleep becomes ongoing, it can leave you feeling completely exhausted and emotionally empty.
Then there’s overwhelm and burnout. Many women reach this stage of life juggling work, teenagers or even young children, ageing parents, relationships and countless responsibilities — all while dealing with hormonal changes. There’s often very little time left to process your own emotions.
Mental health can also play a role. Hormonal shifts alone can increase the risk of low mood, anxiety and depression during this time.
The good news: this phase doesn’t last forever
Here’s the reassuring part — for many women, emotional flatness is a phase. It can last for a period of time and then ease, allowing you to feel more like yourself again.
But rather than just sitting it out, there are plenty of things you can do to support yourself.
Lifestyle support that really helps
Exercise is hugely important for both emotional and physical wellbeing.
Diet matters too — our nutritional needs often increase during menopause. Aim for a wholesome diet with good-quality protein, vegetables, fruit, whole grains and healthy fats.
Hydration is often overlooked, but dehydration can quickly affect your mood. Keep that water bottle handy. Aim for 1.5 – 2 litres a day.
Reconnecting through mindfulness and your senses
One thing I personally noticed was that it felt as though the colour drained out of my life. Everything felt grey, and I lost connection with my senses.
A simple daily exercise I love is choosing a colour each day and consciously noticing everything around you that’s that colour. Colour carries energy, and this gently pulls you back into the present moment, engaging your sense of sight.
You can do the same with other senses. Think about your morning cup of coffee — instead of drinking it on autopilot, take a moment to smell it, taste it and really enjoy it.
Sound is another powerful sense. I’m lucky enough to have a garden, and even when it’s dark in the morning, I can hear birds singing. Taking just a minute to pause and listen brings a surprising amount of joy.
These small moments only take a few minutes, but they can lift your mood far more than you might expect.
Journaling, gratitude and connection
Journaling can also be incredibly helpful. A simple gratitude list — just four or five things a day — can make a real difference. Don’t overthink it. It could be something as small as having access to clean water or being able to write with a pen.
Connecting with others matters too. Counselling, menopause support groups, or even starting a group at work can help you realise you’re not alone — and that in itself can be a huge boost.
Supplements and gentle natural support
Some women find supplements helpful. Magnesium is often recommended, as it supports your mood, sleep and relaxation.
There’s also the herb Hypericum (St John’s Wort), which can help with low mood — but it must not be taken alongside prescribed medication, including HRT, so always check first.
Flower Essences can also offer gentle, emotional support. They come in small bottles that you can easily carry with you and use as needed throughout the day. You may find one of the following particularly helpful:
- Mood Essence – helpful for low mood or when your emotions feel up and down and difficult to regulate.
- Relaxing Essence – ideal if you’re edging towards burnout, feeling overwhelmed, or struggling to find time for yourself.
- Emotional Essence – designed to support everyday emotional sensitivity and help you feel more balanced on a daily basis.
When to seek extra help
If emotional flatness stops feeling like a phase — if you don’t want to get up in the morning, or it’s severely affecting your work and day-to-day life — that’s the point to seek support.
Speak to your GP, or consider counselling to get some extra help. You don’t have to cope alone.
Share your story
For me, those small daily practices made a huge difference during this phase. I hope you’ve found this helpful too.
Please do share your stories. Has this happened to you? What helped you feel better? I love reading them.
Have a lovely week — and I’ll see you soon.
