What Does Social Anxiety Look Like?
Social anxiety during menopause can feel like a complete shift in personality. You may have once been confident and outgoing, but now find yourself retreating. Avoiding social situations. Dreading going to work. Making excuses just to stay at home.
Even everyday tasks like driving, shopping, or navigating busy streets can feel overwhelming. Does any of that sound familiar?
If so, you are not alone. This is real. This is social anxiety. And it’s not all in your head. You are not going mad.
Breaking It Down: Symptoms of Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can present in several ways:
Emotional and Behavioural Symptoms:
- Dreading speaking in front of people or attending meetings
- Avoiding social events or meeting new people
- Fear of being watched or judged by others
- Avoiding friends, authority figures, or any situation where you feel “on display”
Physical Symptoms:
- Blushing unexpectedly — like you haven’t since you were a teenager
- Sweating just at the thought of certain situations (e.g., speaking to your boss)
- Palpitations, trembling, or even nausea
- Struggling to speak or express yourself — feeling as if your words just disappear
Cognitive Symptoms:
- Overthinking and overanalysing every conversation
- Picking apart what someone said to you, replaying it endlessly
- Misinterpreting things and feeling increasingly anxious as a result
Why Is This Happening?
This is all driven by chemical changes in your brain — caused by falling hormone levels, particularly oestrogen.
When oestrogen drops, it affects the regulation of key brain chemicals like serotonin and GABA, which help to stabilise mood and keep you feeling calm. Without that balance, your emotions can swing dramatically from one day to the next.
You might feel upbeat and confident one day, and the next, like someone has pulled the plug on everything.
Cortisol — your stress hormone — also plays a role. Oestrogen helps regulate cortisol, so when oestrogen falls, cortisol levels can spike, leaving you stuck in a constant fight-or-flight response. Everyday situations suddenly feel threatening or exhausting.
The Bigger Picture: Midlife and Menopause
On top of the hormonal changes, midlife often brings big life shifts:
- Children leaving home (empty nest syndrome)
- Redefining relationships with partners
- Career changes
- Caring for elderly parents or helping with grandchildren
You may find yourself pulled in several directions at once — while all you really want is a bit of peace and quiet. This can lead to self-doubt, low confidence, and a desire to withdraw completely from day-to-day life.
The Misunderstood Side of Menopause
One of the hardest parts is that many women don’t realise their social anxiety is hormone-related — and sadly, doctors don’t always pick up on it either.
Too often, women are told:
“Don’t be silly.”
“It’s all in your head.”
“You’ll snap out of it.”
But the truth is, we can’t just snap out of it. Our hormones are driving these changes — and dismissing that reality can be deeply invalidating.
1. Talk About It
Start by talking to someone you trust. Speak to your partner, your boss (if possible), or join a support group. At our monthly support meet-ups, it's incredible how empowering it is when women realise they’re not alone in this.
2. Manage Stress
This is easier said than done, but anything that helps you unwind can make a big difference:
- Yoga or deep breathing
- Guided relaxation or meditation
- Simple “me time” to recharge
3. Herbal Support
Certain herbs may help with calming symptoms:
- Passionflower
- Lemon balm
There are also handy sprays available that you can keep in your pocket or bag for when you’re on the go, such as our Passiflora Complex Spray, which contains both of these herbs.
4. Nutritional Support
- Magnesium: excellent for mood, sleep, and muscle relaxation
- Water: dehydration can intensify anxiety, so keep hydrated throughout the day
And Most Importantly…
Remember — this is not in your head, and you are not going mad. These changes are driven by your body and hormones. The good news is, this phase doesn’t last forever. As your hormones rebalance, many women find their symptoms ease and confidence begins to return.
If your symptoms are worsening or you feel like you can’t cope, please speak to your GP. You may benefit from:
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
- Talking therapies
- Short-term medication support
Please don’t suffer in silence. Social anxiety during menopause can be incredibly isolating, but there is support — and there is hope.
Have You Experienced This?
Have you gone through social anxiety during menopause? How did it affect you, and what helped you manage it?
Please do share your stories in the comments. Your experience could help someone else feel a little less alone.
