1. A Sudden Loss of Confidence
You may find yourself second-guessing your own ideas. Perhaps you're more hesitant about doing things or feel less confident at work, in social situations, with your family or simply in everyday life.
You might begin doubting your abilities, with that little voice in your head saying:
"I can't do this anymore."
"I've forgotten how to do this."
"I don't know what to do."
You may also find that multitasking suddenly feels much more difficult than it used to.
It doesn't necessarily mean you've become a less confident person. Hormonal changes can affect your resilience and self-assurance, making everyday situations feel much harder than before.
2. Feeling Flat or Emotionally Numb
This isn't the same as depression.
Instead, many women describe it as though the volume has been turned down on life. Things simply don't feel the same anymore.
You may struggle to feel motivated or excited about the things you once enjoyed. The joy and enthusiasm seem to have faded, and many women tell me it feels as though the spark has gone from their life.
Everything can feel a little drab, flat and colourless.
3. A Lack of Motivation
You know what you need to do. You may even want to do it. But you just can't find the energy or motivation to get started.
Tasks that once felt effortless can suddenly seem enormous, like climbing a mountain instead of taking a simple step.
You may also find you're no longer enjoying the hard work that once gave you satisfaction.
It's easy to start blaming yourself, wondering whether you're becoming lazy because you can't do the things you used to.
But this isn't a personal failing. You haven't changed overnight. Hormonal changes may simply be affecting how you view and approach everyday life.
4. Feeling Like You've Lost Yourself
Out of all the questions I receive, this is probably the one I hear most often. It's also one of the most distressing. Many women tell me they no longer know who they are.
You may find yourself questioning your purpose:
- Who am I?
- What am I doing here?
- Where am I going?
- Where do I belong?
It can feel as though you've lost your place in the world.
If you feel your identity has disappeared and you can't explain why, it can be incredibly upsetting. But you're far from alone in feeling this way.
5. A Sense of Grief or Loss
This can be one of the strangest emotional symptoms.
You feel a quiet sense of sadness or loss, but you can't quite put your finger on why.
Nothing major has happened. You haven't necessarily lost someone close to you or experienced a significant life event.
Yet it feels as though you've lost something deeply important.
You may find yourself reflecting on your age. Suddenly, you feel older. Your body has changed, your children may be becoming more independent or leaving home, and your role within your family may be changing.
Relationships can also shift, particularly if your partner is going through changes of their own.
Sometimes it's simply a quiet sadness that comes with recognising that life is changing.
6. Feeling Invisible
This is another emotional symptom that so many women describe.
As you get older, you may feel overlooked or ignored.
Perhaps you're now the oldest person in the workplace and feel your experience is no longer valued. Socially, you may feel left out or excluded.
Some women even tell me that they are being excluded from conversations in their WhatsApp group.
Whether it's changes in appearance, confidence or your social role, these experiences can leave you feeling taken for granted.
Many women also describe feeling as though they've lost their voice.
7. Losing Your Ambition
If you've always been ambitious, goal-focused and driven, this emotional change can be particularly unsettling.
One day you wake up and wonder:
"Why am I doing this?"
"Why am I pushing myself so hard?"
You've spent years working towards future goals, but suddenly they no longer seem as important.
Instead, you begin questioning whether it's all worth it and whether you're missing out on other parts of life.
Although this can feel frightening, it doesn't necessarily mean you've lost your direction.
Sometimes it's simply a sign that you're reassessing who you are and where you want to go next.
Many women tell me they eventually decide to make a major change. Some choose a quieter life, while others completely change careers or pursue something they've always wanted to do.
Interestingly, almost everyone I've spoken to who has made a significant change says they feel happier and more content afterwards.
These Feelings Are More Common Than You Think
These emotional symptoms are incredibly common.
After more than 20 years of educating women about menopause, I can honestly say I hear these stories every single week. I also think I've experienced every one of these emotions myself at some point.
The good news is that these symptoms are becoming more widely recognised, and we're finally starting to talk about them.
If you're experiencing any of these feelings, remember that it's not just you. They may be part of a phase of life that also offers an opportunity to reassess what's important to you and where you want to go next.
Most importantly, you are definitely not alone in feeling this way.
Have You Experienced Any of These Emotional Symptoms?
Have you experienced any of these emotional changes during perimenopause or menopause?
How did they make you feel? Did they lead you to make a big change in your life? And are you happier because of it?
I'd love to hear your story. By sharing your experience, you could help another woman realise she's not alone too.
Other articles you might find helpful:
Emotional Symptoms of Perimenopause and Menopause
Why Does Menopause Make Me Feel Emotionally Flat (And What to Do About It)
